Well I do not usually read such topics (it's a guy thing), however, as a writer, I write on plenty of topics (I try to stay away from anything about sex, violence and gambling) so I get to read a lot. However, the information below was my personal mantra for a long time, when I was going through a dark period (it's passed) and thought it can help you too: (najua many people will be shocked eti mimi huandika na husoma vitu kama hizi but hey! this is a rant page what do you expect, Rambo?)
Low self-esteem is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. The worse you feel about yourself, the less energy and motivation you
have to do what it takes to turn your self-esteem around. Your self-esteem
continues to plummet as your brain locks in on negative and circular thinking,
further entrenching you in beliefs that have little or no basis in reality.
Self-esteem improves by changing
both your thoughts and behaviors. You must practice new thoughts and behaviors
until you begin to turn the tide of your feelings about yourself. In addition,
you must continue practicing them to maintain a healthy love for yourself.
1. Become
proficient at something
When you practice and become skilled
at something you enjoy, your increasing competency and the discipline of
practice will be a source of pride and fulfillment for you.
2. Reclaim
your integrity
If you are living outside of your
integrity, you will feel disoriented, guilty, and drained. Define what
integrity means for you, and make the necessary changes to live in accordance
with it.
3. Exercise
Exercise makes you feel better
physically, mentally, and emotionally. It provides a sense of control over your
health and vitality.
4.
Volunteer
When we serve and support other
people, we feel uplifted and valued. We have found a way to show empathy and
connection through service.
5. Take
care of a pet
Pets offer unconditional love and
fulfill our longing for attention and affection. Pets teach us compassion and
responsibility, taking the focus off of our own problems.
6. Care
about your appearance
When you look your best, you feel
better. You project an outward image of self-esteem and confidence — even if
you don’t feel that way. But when you act “as if” you have self-esteem, eventually
your feelings will catch up.
7. Do
something creative
Creative endeavors put you in
the “flow” state in which you are intently engaged in what you are doing. It
stimulates the brain and potentially leads you to a passion or avocation.
8. Heal
past wounds
Past issues and traumas can keep you
trapped in low self-esteem. Seek the support of a trained counselor to help you
heal the wounds of the past.
9. Plan
something exciting
Plan for a trip or adventure so that
you have something exciting to look forward to. Just the planning process with
make you feel engaged and purposeful.
10. Have a
change of scenery
Actually going on a trip,
working from another location, or spending time out of your house will give you
a boost of energy and motivation.
11. Spend
time with a friend
Good friends accept us as we are,
love us for who we are, and provide an outlet for fun and companionship. Our
best friends are a reflection of the good in ourselves.
12. Get
clear on your values
Determine your core values in life,
the principles around which you want your life centered. Examine your life to
see where you are not in alignment with the values and make the necessary
changes to fix that.
13. Write
down your accomplishments
Think back through your life to all
that you’ve accomplished as a youth and adult. List everything you have done
that you feel proud of.
14. Read
something inspirational
Read books and articles that
uplift you and make you feel positive. Stay away from negative television
programs, web sites, advertising or anything that reinforces a poor self-image.
15. Stretch
yourself
Step outside of your comfort zone in
some way. Stretch yourself to try something new, meet different people, or
approach a situation in an unconventional way.
16. Take
care of your relationships
Focus your love, time, and attention
on the people you care about most. Nurture your relationships and find ways to
communicate fully and enjoy a richer experience with your loved ones.
17. Teach
someone
You have skills and abilities to
share with others. Teach someone who is interested in learning. Offer your
knowledge and experience as a gift.
18.
Practice affirmations
Keep an affirmation journal in which
you write positive, loving statements about yourself. Repeat those affirmations
daily when you awaken and before you go to sleep.
19.
Challenge limiting beliefs
When you catch yourself thinking
negatively about your self-worth, challenge the beliefs with evidence to the
contrary. Find reasons why your limiting beliefs are untrue — or at
least not completely true.
20. Seek
your life passion
If you have not found your life
passion, make time in your life to seek it out. The process of having a goal to
find it will give your life a sense of purpose.
21. Give
and receive affection
Offer and receive physical affection
from family and friends. Physical touch supports bonding between people,
reduces anxiety, improves your mood, and creates connections.
22.
Increase your standards
Begin to demand more of yourself in
various areas of your life. Challenge yourself to do a bit better, go a bit
farther, behave more lovingly than you have in the past. Set the bar higher,
and you will feel proud of who you are.
23. Have a
purpose
Start considering what your life
purpose might be. Why are you here? What could be your legacy and how can
you make that a centerpiece of your life?
24. Live in
the right place
Are you living in a community or
city that makes you feel comfortable and at home? Or are you living somewhere
that doesn’t reflect your values and ideal lifestyle?
25. Let go
of draining people
If there are people in your life who
put you down, drain you of energy, or take advantage of you, begin to gently
let them slip from your life. Surround yourself with loving and supportive
people who value you.
26. Network
Expand your network of friends and
associates to broaden your horizons and create new life and career
opportunities.
27. Ask for
forgiveness
If you have wronged someone, don’t
live with guilt or shame. Apologize, make it right, and ask for forgiveness.
28. Pay off
your debts
Living with debt can drain your
self-esteem and cause on-going anxiety. Pay off your debts and
begin to live within your means.
29. Don’t
smoke, drink too much, or use recreational drugs
All of these excesses are unhealthy,
make you feel bad physically and make you feel undisciplined and dependent on
substances to soothe your emotions.
30. Create
personal boundaries
Know what your personal
boundaries are and how you will react when people cross them. Don’t allow
others to take advantage of you or manipulate you.
31. Be a
mentor
Be there for someone who needs
support, leadership, and guidance. Their respect will add to your self-respect.
32. Slow
down and simplify
An over-scheduled and complicated
life will lead to stress and overwhelm. You have no time to make positive
changes in your life that lead to self-esteem. Begin to clear things off your
to-do list and simplify all areas of your life.
33. Detach
from the opinion of others
When you worry about what others
will think of you, you never feel free to be yourself completely. Begin making
choices and decisions based on what you want, not what you think others want
for you.
34. Stop
gossiping
Gossip may be momentarily powerful
and thrilling, but it leaves you with a residue of distaste for yourself. Make
a point to stop gossiping.
35. Be an
initiator
Don’t wait for others to make the
plans, call the shops, or come up with the ideas. Be the initiator, the first
responder, the one who takes charge. Practice this even if it feels
uncomfortable at first.
36. Learn
to manage anger
Anger is often a response to
feelings of low self-worth and despair. Find appropriate outlets for your
feelings. Express them to a supportive person before they turn to anger.
37. Embrace
failure as part of growth
Shift your thinking about perceived
failures. See them as a necessary part of growth and learning. Failures are
evidence of effort, and you always learn something from them.
38. Stop
over-thinking
Jump off the gerbil wheel of
repetitive thoughts that percolate constantly in your brain. Instead, take some
kind of positive action that is distracting and worthwhile.
39.
Eliminate time-wasting behaviors
Find productive, creative,
life-affirming ways to spend your time, rather than watching endless hours of
TV, surfing the net, or playing video games.
40. Be
willing to ask for help
Asking for help and
support isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of determination and
courage. Asking for help means you are ready for positive change.
41. Be
honest with yourself and others
If you are living a lie, telling
yourself or others stories about who you are and how you feel, you are
entrapping yourself in unhappiness. You must be authentic and accepting to open
your heart to self-love.
42. Stay
focused on the present moment
It is the only reality. When the
past and the future feel painful, focus on the task at hand and do it with your
full engagement.
43.
Practice gratitude
Every day, write down all that you feel
grateful for, all of your blessings, all of the people whose lives have
touched you in a positive way.
44. Shift
from an inferiority mentality to an equality mentality
Stop comparing yourself to others
and measuring your worth against what they might have and you don’t. View
everyone you encounter as your equal and your potential friend, regardless of
their station in life, appearance, or intelligence.
45. Keep
learning
View yourself as a life-long
learner and approach all things with a beginner’s mentality — open, eager,
and willing to learn.
46.
Re-frame fear
Begin to shift the feelings of fear
to energy for change. When you feel fear, use this powerful emotion to take
action on something positive and forward-moving.
47.
Redefine success
What is success for you? Is it
wealth, power, or possessions? Begin to view success in terms of fulfilling
experiences, loving relationships, and meaningful work.
48. Set
small goals
Every day, set one or two small
goals for yourself that are non-negotiable. At the end of a year, you will have
achieved more than you ever expected.
49. Study
personal evolution
Become a forever student
of personal growth and self-improvement. Read, listen, study, and
learn about how to live with emotional intelligence and maturity. See personal
evolution as a life-long journey.
50. Give
away love
Never hesitate to show your love,
even if you’ve been hurt by love in the past. The move love you give away, the
more it comes back to you. Start with yourself. Begin to love
yourself the way you would love your best friend or sibling.
Self-esteem often takes practice and
commitment. You must value the importance of feeling good about yourself,
having self-worth and being comfortable with who you are. The alternative is
staying stuck in depression, unhappiness, and negative thoughts.
Begin to practice self-esteem
fostering thoughts and behaviors. Start acting as though you believe in
yourself and love who you are even if your feelings haven’t caught up. Give
yourself legitimate reasons to feel proud, accomplished, and worthwhile through
learning, personal growth, goal-setting and achievement.
Once you accept the unique
perfection of who you are and what you offer the world, you will find that you
are more deserving than anyone of your own love and affection.
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